RIP Cory Monteith

It breaks my heart to see someone so young lose their life to addiction, especially because its an issue many young people face but don’t realize until its too late. Cory obviously knew he had a problem and wanted to change his life around. He openly stated that he had been using drugs since the age of 12. When you’re doing drugs for THAT long, even if its only a habit when you’re socializing, quitting can be much harder than you’ve ever imagined.

The reason this touched me so much is because it scares me. I attended counseling for alcohol after a DWI in 2010. The next two years that followed were very hard for me. I felt ashamed, lost, and for a long time, undeserving. It took awhile for me to take a step back from the situation and understand the big picture. I seriously thought my life was going to be miserable forever, but finally, after months and months of praying I finally started to realize that I was actually very blessed. My situation could have been a lot worse. Maybe in some miraculous way God graced me and allowed me a second chance?

Little by little things got better and suddenly here I am in this completely new place in my life. I’ve come a long way and I feel so happy now that it actually scares me to think that I could mess it all up so easily. I’m not saying I don’t party but I never want to get to that point where in life I want to quit and I can’t. Its a constant process working on yourself like this. When I was in counseling we read this poem by Portia Nelson that touched me so much. It’s basically about learning from your mistakes. It took me a devastating, extremely EMBARASSING, event to teach me these lessons, but I am in no way ashamed… anymore. Its exactly what I went through and now I hope that I can make better choices for my future. Life is all about learning and growing and I’m so thankful that I was given that chance. I also believe everything that happens in your life is not on accident. God gives you signs all the time, you just have to be open to seeing them.

I think people have this pre concieved idea of what an addict is and Cory’s death was such a shock because he was that sweet person. The truth is there are all kinds of people struggling with this issue. I hope if anything his death raises awareness to people all over the world, about how serious addiction is and how it robs us from so much more that life has to offer. Rest in peace Cory Monteith, you will surely never be forgotten. ❤

20130715-095605.jpg

“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

– Portia Nelson